All posts tagged confident kids

Traveling with Kids: The 90/10 Rule for Success

by alicemarks on February 24, 2012 in Adventures with children, Experiences, Family Time, Travel tips, Travel with babies, Traveling with Children with No comments

Traveling with kids is sticky.

It is sticky, moist, often smells like wet/moldy…something, and has the potential to clothesline you with exhaustion.

Unless you have the right attitude.

Traveling with kids is ALL about attitude.

In fact, the potential joy or disaster of family travel can be boiled down to the 90/10 rule: The success of your trip is 10% of the circumstances thrown your way, and 90% of how you react to those circumstances.

Traveling with kids can bring you joy, laughter and the heart-squeezing beauty of seeing a child experience something new. It can bring you closer together as a family. It can plant the seeds of adventure and encourage self-esteem as kids learn to navigate outside their comfort zones.

But you have to expect the joy. You have find it in unlikely places. And you have to ignore the people who tell you that you are crazy for wanting it.

You have to make up your mind ahead of time that you, and you alone, can make or break this vacation. Yes, your toddler threw up in the rental car. Okay, the baby screamed the whole flight. I get that. It stinks. It’s hard. You’re tired.

Step back and take a deep breath, because you have a choice to make. It is always about choices, right? You can choose to laugh it off. You can choose not to make your child feel worse than she already does by lamenting a ruined sweater. You can choose to let that rude comment from another passenger float away, unacknowledged.

You can choose not to worry about the size of your child’s suitcase, if the hotel restaurant will have french fries, or how long it will take to get over jet lag.

You can also choose wholeheartedly to feel the joy of the moment when your child runs, leaping and giggling, over the incoming tide. You can choose to accept that it’s money well spent to hire someone to help you with your bags.

Enjoy each moment as it comes your way. The moments that are more difficult to enjoy? Do not give them power. Lift your head out of the gray clouds until you feel the sun on your face. Then choose how to act.

Your choices will define the differences between a great trip and a “never-again.” You will also be showing your children how they, too, possess the power and capabilities to shape their own experiences.

Yes, travel with children can be both a blessing and a curse.

As you wish.

Early Spring: Yes, Please.

by alicemarks on February 17, 2012 in Adventures with children, children and nature, Experiences, Family Time, Local Fun, Outside play with No comments

In Chicago, we’re being teased. The weather this winter has been more temperate than I can ever remember. New promises of spring surprise us practically every week. My daffodils are emotionally confused.

As a born-and-raised Californian, weather like this makes me inclined to high-five strangers and give money to puppies.

My enthusiasm, apparently, is contagious. My kids share in the giddy eagerness that goes hand in hand with the promise of doing something, anything, that is outside of the house.

We have long since abandoned the idea of skating on the lake; sledding is little more than a distant memory, eclipsed by the unseasonably green hills.

All we need is a visible driveway!

Instead, we have broken out the roller blades and scooters, drawn by the smooth black expanse of our uncharacteristically snow-free driveway. Although the bike paths are muddy and messy, it has not prevented races around the block and trips to the nearby grammar school to take advantage of the swings that are usually too cold to touch.

My son digs out the pogo stick, and suddenly there are impromptu obstacle courses that involve the trampoline, skateboards, and other dangerous combinations that I try not to watch.

I know, in my logical mind, that winter could come back to bite us at any time. It is not unheard of to get 12 inches of snow in March.

But right now, after 15 years in Chicago and what feels like a lifetime of cold, I am embracing Mother Nature’s tentative gift. There will be time to be cold later.

Now we play.

3 Things I Learned from Playing Outside with my Kids

by alicemarks on November 17, 2011 in Adventures with children, children and nature, Day trips with children, Experiences, Outside play with 1 Comment

The air is getting colder here in the midwest, and, as a warm-weather-loving Northern California native, I find myself yet again presented with my yearly dilemma: how do I encourage my kids to play outside in chilly weather when I am shivering in my Snuggie, curled up in a ball, spooning a heater vent?

The answer, of course, lies within the kids themselves. Born with a natural enthusiasm and the thicker skin that is a Midwesterner’s birthright, my children seem impervious to all but the harshest of conditions, and see absolutely no reason to curtail their play for something as mundane as blue fingers and frozen nose hairs.

Kids want to be outside!

When I finally realized that my unparalleled cold weather wimpyness was robbing my children of experiences they wanted desperately to have, I put in for an attitude adjustment.

Cold weather? Out of my control. Proper clothing for playing in cold weather? Totally within my control. So I sucked it up, bundled up and out we went.

And thank goodness, too. How else would I have discovered that when you lick a leaf and hold it to your nose, it freezes there? At what other time would I have been able to witness through my kids’ eyes the breathless magic of the very moment when light rain turns to snow?

In the end, my willingness to embrace colder weather as a viable alternative to cabin fever resulted in the inevitable irony that I was the one who walked away having learned something.

I learned that experience was all about attitude. Good attitude equals good experience, and if you encourage your kids to go forth into the winter with an enthusiasm that echos your own interest and excitement (even if it’s manufactured), everyone wins.
I learned that by letting my child craft the outdoor activities I stayed warmer than I thought I would, simply from being constantly in motion.
I learned that the promise of hot chocolate chocolate is all the encouragement needed to keep me outside longer with the goal of (as my son puts it) “getting nice and cold so the hot chocolate will taste even better.”

With so many experiences to be had and so many lessons to be learned, we adults need to set the tone when it comes to playing outdoors. The kids will take care of the rest.

I totally made it work.

Countdown to a Thoughtful Thanksgiving

by alicemarks on October 26, 2011 in Adventures with children, children and nature, Experiences, QuickSmart with No comments

With all the inevitable hoopla over gift-giving during the holidays (that sadly starts its commercial build right after Halloween), Thanksgiving sometimes gets a little overlooked.

What’s unfortunate about its second-class status is that the message behind Thanksgiving is so fundamentally universal; regardless of your religion, cultural background or country of origin, Thanksgiving is about being grateful for the beauty and abundance already present in our everyday lives. It is a day that can be embraced by everyone and should be celebrated with equal abandon, but too often Thanksgiving is seen as a merely a gateway to the holiday season instead of being recognized for its own beautiful message.

So this year, in defiance of Christmas lists that are already being generated, I thought it might be a nice change for my kids to do a little pre-holiday-fervor detox and spend a few moments each day focused on the message behind Thanksgiving. And although a few moments on their own might not seem like a lot, when strung together day after day, much like pearls on a string, all those singular moments come together to deliver an impact of much greater magnitude.

Introducing the Thanksgiving Countdown Calendar.

Much like an Advent calendar and its sweet countdown to Christmas, A Thanksgiving Countdown Calendar brings together the elements of fall, family and fun and wraps them all up in a blanket of gratitude that reminds kids, in gentle and even silly ways, to be grateful for all that they already have.

Plus, the simple questions and tasks within the Calendar encourage giving – not of the material sort, but of ideas, thoughts, feelings and unrestricted imaginations. In less than a minute a day you can encourage and build upon the fundamentals of love and gratitude that we so dearly want our children to embrace.

Creating the calendar is easy. You will need a large sheet of paper or poster board, and (for this year) 23 smaller squares (2” x 2” or so) of paper. Work with your kids to decorate each square in a fall-themed design, and then tape the papers to the board on three sides, so the top is open, pocket style. At the bottom of the board, write out “Happy Thanksgiving” and design as you and your children see fit.

In each daily pocket, you’re going to put a little note. You can type them all out on the computer, print and cut apart if you want to save time, or you can hand write them all.

I’ve put together a list to get you started; you can use these, modify, add your own – whatever works for you! Just remember to keep each task easy, positive and fun!

Go outside and find 5 leaves in different colors. Tape to paper and hang on the fridge.
Name 3 things that you love about trees
Group Hug!
Something I like about my sister/brother/pet/grandma/grandpa is…
Something mom and dad love about me is…
Write a letter/draw a picture/make a card and send it to someone just to say I Love You!
What makes you feel warm and happy when you think about it?
Draw a picture of what Happy looks like
What is a food you love to eat?
Who is a friend you are glad you get to play with?
Name three toys that you love to play with
Describe what you love about your home in 3 words
What color is Happy? Excited? a Hug? Act each one out
Make a list of 10 things you love
What do you love about dad/mom/aunt uncle etc? Then go out side and find a treasure to give to him/her.
Go and hug three things you love
Play a silly word game where one of you says a word and the other builds on it until you have a silly sentence
Think of 5 people and name one thing you like about each of them
Name 5 things that are beautiful
Look outside and find three colorful things
I love it when mom does…
I love it when dad does….
Do the “yay” dance (clap your hands and jump up and down shouting “yay for mommy…Yay for <insert sibling, pets or other names here>!”)

Each day, open a note with your children. The exercises will only take a few moments, but by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, your family will have built a beautiful necklace of positive, inspiring memories that will serve as your talisman as you navigate the the hectic holiday month to come.

Take it Outside, People!

by alicemarks on October 18, 2011 in Adventures with children, children and nature, Experiences, Local Fun with No comments

In an effort to get kids and families outside and engaged with nature and each other, Head Start/Body Start is promoting Take It Outside week.

I truly believe that children who regularly play outdoors are healthier and happier than children who don’t. I also believe that families that get outside together are building experiences that ultimately bring them closer. Observing your child in a new environment is a never-ending source of wonder. And it just stands to reason that children who are encouraged to explore their environment and nurture their natural curiosity will become enthusiastic learners and develop a deeper appreciation for the world around them.

Finally, as a self-confidence booster, adventures in nature can’t be beat; children positively blossom when they discover that they have the creative capacity to make fun and find wonder in things other than toys and electronics.

So this week, gather the kids and Take It Outside! It doesn’t matter if it’s for 15 minutes or 3 hours; just getting out there sets a precedent for spending time together discovering something new and different. With hope, you will enjoy it so much that it becomes a regular part of your day – everyday!

Here are some fall-themed ideas to kick-start your inspiration!

Have a Crunchy Picnic. Rake leaves into a pile and cover them with a big blanket. Climb on top with snacks and drinks, and listen to the crunching underneath as you move. When you’re done eating, remove the blanket and run through the leaf pile as fast as you can! Watch the leaves fly up into the air and then try to catch them.
Have a Pumpkin Hunt. You will need about 10 of those apple-sized mini pumpkins and gourds. Toss them in a pile of leaves, and then set out to find them – with your eyes closed!
Have a Pumpkin Roll. Place the mini pumpkins around the yard and have your child roll a bigger pumpkin around them and through them like an obstacle course. Bonus points for rolling two pumpkins at once!
Go Color Hiking. Go for a walk and find as many orange (or brown or yellow) things that you can. When you get home use markers or crayons to decorate a piece a paper with the appropriate color, and attach your matching items. Have your child try to think of other orange things, and help them add to the collage by making a drawing.

Finally, and most importantly, dress kids to get dirty. It’s hard to lose yourself in a game of Dancing with the Leaves when you are worried about staying clean. Dress them for mess, and then let them take the lead. You won’t be disappointed!

The Savvy Parent’s Guide to Preserving Schedules On The Go

by alicemarks on October 12, 2011 in Adventures with children, Day trips with children, Experiences, QuickSmart, Travel tips, Travel with babies, Traveling with Children with No comments

One of my biggest worries when I began wanting/needing to get out of the house more with my kids as babies and toddlers was the disruption of the sacred Schedule. At the time, The Schedule was my tether to sanity; a thin filament that bridged the gap between complete madness and the ability to keep it together for another day. By breathing predictable order into my new and chaotic life, The Schedule soothed anxieties and held all of our hands as we navigated through the day.

Eventually though, the pull to leave the house and reinsert myself into life became strong enough that I began to consider how I could Be There and Do That while still protecting the benefits that a regular sleeping and eating schedule had for all of us. Plus, I felt that it was time for my kids to be introduced to the art of adapting, a skill in which, up until now, they were not well versed.

Before this point, my ventures outside of the house had been quick, efficient and skillfully threaded in between naps and meals. Testing the waters of my new resolve I started small, with trips to friends’ homes that overlapped first a meal, then a nap, and then – crazy, I know – both.

As we all got more comfortable with life on the move, bigger adventures began to take shape and soon we were traveling overnight and taking risks with plane schedules and time changes.

My biggest adversary during this period of adjustment was my own desire to do what was convenient instead of what would work best. For instance, it is way more convenient to let the kids sleep in the car seat than require we be back at the hotel by a certain time for naps. It is also way more convenient to offer snack after snack than to impose on a friend or find an appropriate restaurant where we could all sit down and have a decent meal.

In these situations, natural consequences were my teacher. By not honoring schedules on the road I paid, and paid dearly with angry, tired and off-balance kids that were in foul moods usually for the rest of the day.

But as time went on and my children and I got used to taking our show on the road, I started to see in them the benefits that adaptability can bring. They actually began to become aware, before it was too late and they were starving/overtired, when we needed to attend to some part of The Schedule. We began to function as a team that looked out for each other’s needs. The Schedule, which had at one time seemed an insurmountable obstacle to freedom, had become a catalyst for positive growth.

Transitioning the schedule outside the home is a process, and here are a few tips that helped me along the way:

Start small. Take short trips that bridge only a nap or a meal, and try to hook up with a friend so you can be in a comfortable environment, instead of struggling the first time our to get your baby to nap in the restroom of a theme park because it’s the only place that’s dark.
Use security items. Blankies, pacifiers, stuffed animals; anything that can help bridge the gap from home to the new environment.
Get the right gear. An easy to use, lightweight play yard or travel bassinet, booster chair, etc. You might even let the kids try out these items for a few weeks at home so they are used to them when they see them out of the house
Take care with your diaper bag. Make sure you have everything you need to make everyone comfortable, including toys, sweaters, snacks, extra blankets and plenty of diapers.

A bigger world awaits you outside your house; with a little creative scheduling it can be yours and your kids’ to discover!

Teach Your Child to Be Secure in Security

by alicemarks on September 13, 2011 in Adventures with children, Experiences, QuickSmart, Travel tips, Traveling with Children with No comments

For first time junior travelers, the airport can be a glorious adventure. Airplanes aside, there are moving walkways, all their favorite restaurants and dozens of mini stores with more candy and souvenirs than they could possibly imagine.

But, regardless of how much fun they can have during preflight shenanigans, there will be a period of time where your children are expected to follow the rules and take things seriously: when your family passes through airport security.

For some kids the sudden shift to a more serious attitude is merely a passing annoyance; an ill-timed interruption of their quest to find and ride one of the passenger-assist carts.

But for other kids the sudden flurry of unexpected activity, the emptying of pockets and removing of shoes, the rendering of a cherished backpack full of goodies into the mouth of the X-ray machine, may feel to them like all new and unknown experiences – a little scary.

However, because you are a travel-savvy parent, you have followed the tips below and have prepared your child for the unknown. And thus prepared, your child can render the experience safely into the category of Familiar, therefore removing the element of scary before before they even realize that they aren’t wearing any shoes.

How to Prepare your Child for Airport Security

Set up a mock security station at home. Find a big box for the X-ray machine, some bins to put their goodies in and something to create a large archway for them to walk through. A couch makes a great conveyor belt area.
Explain what security is, in non scary terms. I explained to my young children that there are certain things not allowed on airplanes like spray paint and chemicals, and that security is there to help people who might have forgotten that they are carrying these things.
Do a dry run to demonstrate step by step what to expect. Have a friend or spouse stand in for the security officer and demonstrate by example how you expect your kids to act.
Keep the tone light but serious. You don’t want to make them uneasy, but they should also understand that this is one area where they can’t play games or run around.
Don’t forget the pat-down and the wand. My 8-year old was recently randomly selected for individual screening. She was a little weirded out by it, but ultimately fine. If it should happen to a younger child, there will be much less panic if they have experienced the process at home first.

Can Public Transportation Help You Raise Confident Kids?

by alicemarks on August 17, 2011 in Adventures with children, Day trips with children, Experiences, QuickSmart, Traveling with Children with 1 Comment

Our days are governed by the almighty car, in which we feel comfortable and at home. But is it possible that in our desire for convenience we are allowing our children to become complaisant? Are too many car trips actually depriving our children of learning opportunities and new experiences?

When I was young one of my father’s favorite Saturday afternoon activities was to take me and my little brother on a public transportation adventure.

We’d start the night before, carefully pouring over bus and BART (Northern California’s electric rail) route maps, planning our day. Which was the best bus stop? Did we need to transfer? How much money would we need?

Dad would give us money for our tickets, and we’d greet the bus driver while dropping the coins into the fare counter. We’d choose our seats and talk about the landmarks we recognized as we passed by. We’d argue over who got to ring the bell when we got to our stop. You may be surprised to learn that little brothers can’t ring the bell if you are sitting on them.

When we reached the BART station we’d buy the tickets ourselves and giggle with delight as they were sucked through the automatic turnstiles.

Sometimes we had an actual destination, but most of the time we would spend hours just riding the rails, looking out the windows, discussing the sights we recognized and discovering new ones. We would chart our progress with the route map on the wall. We would make decisions on the fly about when we wanted to get off and look around.

We were in complete control of our destiny, at least for the day.

Confident kids rock the subway

Years later, as a fiercely independent woman and mother, I have a deep appreciation for the positive influence public transportation had on my developing personality and self-confidence.

6 reasons to introduce your kids to public transportation:

Riding public transportation takes kids out of their comfort zone, which teaches them to solve problems and helps them grow emotionally.
Public transportation is a confidence builder. Kids learn skills they need to be independent, and, more importantly, they learn that they can be successful at being independent.
Public transportation gives you time to interact and spend quality time with your child – time you would not have if you were driving.
Public transportation gets your child moving. There is a lot more walking involved when you aren’t depending on a car.
Public transportation teaches kids that there is a whole world of people out there beyond those in their families, schools and neighborhoods. They learn, by your excellent example of course, how to interact politely with their fellow travelers, who are from all walks of life.
Public transportation saves money and is good for the environment. Rock on!

It’s a Great Day

by alicemarks on July 31, 2011 in Adventures with children, Day trips with children, Experiences, Local Fun, QuickSmart, Travel games, Travel tips, Travel with babies, Traveling with Children with No comments

It’s a great day for an adventure – big or small.

It’s a great day to be spontaneous.

It’s a great day to get outside.

It’s a great day to show your kids the world.

Welcome to QuickSmart.

The QuickSmart blog is about being as light and mobile and agile as you can be with kids in tow. It’s about treating your kids to new experiences outside the home. It’s about managing your busy on-the-go lifestyle with ease and grace.

Traveling with children, whether locally or globally, can be intimidating. But, with the right mindset, support and preparation, travel can be the foundation on which your children build a lifetime love of adventure.

Plus, new experiences help children develop a strong sense of self and a willingness to take risks and step outside their comfort zones that will last well into their adult years. What more could we want for them?

At QuickSmart we know that life with kids can go from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds.

We want to make sure that you never miss a moment of it.

All posts tagged confident kids

Traveling with Kids: The 90/10 Rule for Success

Early Spring: Yes, Please.

3 Things I Learned from Playing Outside with my Kids

Countdown to a Thoughtful Thanksgiving

Take it Outside, People!

The Savvy Parent’s Guide to Preserving Schedules On The Go

Teach Your Child to Be Secure in Security

Can Public Transportation Help You Raise Confident Kids?

It’s a Great Day

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