Have You Misplaced Your Sense of Wonder?

by alicemarks on February 2, 2012 in Adventures with children, children and nature, Experiences, Family Time, Outside play with No comments

It’s funny how easily we forget what it’s like to be a child.

Do you remember what it was like to try or see something new, and be just absolutely mesmerized by it?  New experiences were burned into our psyche, and I’ll bet that certain smells, songs or landscapes can bring the wonder and joy of certain memories flooding back in an instant.

Why do we lose this as adults? Perhaps because we have a “been there and done that” attitude.  Fewer and fewer things are new to us. We are too busy worrying about children or work or the house to truly appreciate the beauty and awe inherent in a first experience.

The unfortunate byproduct of our humdrum attitudes is that we tend to underestimate the effect of new experiences on our children.

Let me backtrack for a minute.  I grew up in California, and I spent many weekends skiing in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.  As a child, I remember the excitement I would feel on the drive up as we snaked through the foothills, until finally the majesty of these massive, grand mountains was revealed.  It took my breath away.  Every time.

Thirty of so years later I no longer live in California, but Illinois.  I’m taking my kids skiing for the first time.  In Illinois, we have hills. We have little itty bitty ski resorts with 15 runs.  My attitude, as we drive through the rolling hills, is one of boredom.  My kids pick up on this, and the excitement that they should have felt at the first sight of those snow covered slopes was tempered by my lukewarm attitude. Because I’d already experienced it.

Fast forward to this morning, when, for the first time in my life, I had the opportunity to ski in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.  We had arrived the night before, and were unable to see anything save the hotel and the streets in the local town.

When we woke up the next morning and opened the drapes, I was overcome by what I saw outside my window.  For a moment I was 10 again, catching my first glimpse of the enormous mountains rising up before me. I was breathless. I was transfixed. My eyes were wide, and I could barely speak.

This is what my children should have felt on their first experience up the mountain.  But because I had misplaced my sense of wonder, I was negligent in helping them experience it.  When one looks at the Rockies for the first time, it is like a refresher course in what it is like to be a child.  I will never let my children miss out on that feeling again.

Every new experience they have I will endeavor to see through their eyes, instead of my own age-tempered eyes.  I will coexist in their experience, instead of dragging them into mine.  I will make it my mission, as a mother, to open them up to beauty, inspiration and wonder.

I will let them be children for as long as I can.

The Art of the Winter Craft

by alicemarks on January 27, 2012 in QuickSmart with No comments

In summer, when the outdoors is your studio, crafts with the kids can be messy, large and out of control.  We regularly strive for (and achieve) varying degrees of chalky, painted and sticky (both kids AND projects), and we hesitate to declare any project a success if we’re not knee-deep in a snow drift of glitter by the time we’re through. At the end of the day we have a little game of “Kids meet Garden Hose” and all balance is restored to the universe.

The winter, however, is a different story; in the winter we are forced to be slightly more conservative in our creative endeavors, if for no other reason than to keep a tight reign on mom’s sanity.

Fortunately, just because winter crafts need to be less grand in scale and execution, it does not mean that they have to be any less interesting.  These three ideas will satisfy your kid’s intrinsic need to create, as well as reward you with a little down time when the craft is done and the kids are ready to play with their creations.

1. Rock Town.  A quick trip out to the yard or a local park will reveal the building blocks for your child’s very own town —  à la Sims goes old school.  Collect rocks in various shapes and sizes, and bring inside for a good washing.  If your yard is buried in snow you may want to check out the local craft stores; many of them sell bags of smooth rocks.  You will also need scrapbook paper and glue or mod podge, googly eyes, yarn, ribbon and whatever else you may have on hand.  Clear the kitchen table and create people, families and pets; use construction paper to make houses and buildings.  You may lose your kitchen table for the afternoon, but that’s urban sprawl for you.

2. Origami.  My son got interested in origami a couple of years ago (when he was 6), and is now able to do beautiful and intricate work. However, when he first started we used very simple books and tutorials (from You Tube) and he was able to create boxes, cats, frogs and bunnies, which he then played with for hours on end.  You can buy special origami paper (it’s thinner and easier to fold) or just use scrapbook paper, which is bigger and easier to manipulate.

3. Who can make a rainbow?  Collect old shampoo bottles, or any clear plastic bottles with a narrow opening at the top.  You can even use plastic water bottles, but because of their wider mouth they don’t work quite as well.  Fill with water, pull out the food coloring and see new colors swirl into existence.  The fun part comes when you’re done with all your color mixing.  If you have snow on the ground, bring the bottles outside and do some snow painting with your new watercolors.  Be sure to do your painting in a grassy area so you don’t stain decks or patios.

Have a creative weekend!

5 Great Reasons to Take Your Kids to the Mall

by alicemarks on January 20, 2012 in Adventures with children, Day trips with children, Experiences, Family Time, Local Fun with No comments

I have a love/hate relationship with the mall.  One one hand, when you have to shop, it’s a convenient place to get multiple purchases done at once.  On the other hand, well, it’s the mall. Crowds, fast food and so many, many tempting things to touch, pull off racks and cry about simply for the wanting of.  Suffice it to say that I typically try to avoid the mall, especially with small children in tow.

The Mall - Friend or Foe?

However, when the weather gets colder and our universe of play options gets smaller, I begrudgingly admit that my attitude makes a shift in regards to the usefulness of our local shopping mecca.

It’s indoors, it’s warm and it’s not my house.  Here we are, two weeks into the cold weather, and my kids are already so over our house.  The mall gives us a much needed change of scenery.

Get the blood flowing in those legs.  Enough of the TV and video games already.  A few laps around the mall helps gets ants out of pants.  Some malls even have mini playgrounds, which is a huge boredom buster.

Mini playgrounds at the mall add variety to winter play options

Teachable moment: Fiscal responsibility.  Kids as young as 4 or 5 can be given a few singles and asked to find what they can buy.  Show them how to look at prices and explain about rounding up when something ends in $.95 or $.99.

Teachable moment: Look for the positive in everyone.  Park yourselves in a central location and do some serious people watching, with a twist.  Pick out something nice about the people you see, and draw attention to it. “Look at the pretty pink color of that sweater!” or “That man is very handsome, I wonder if he’s famous!” are great ways to train your kids to see the positive in people.

Play simple games.  A quick game of I-Spy or the Color Game (“Find 3 things that are red!”) exercises the mind as well as the body.

Teachable moment: Healthy eating choices The food court doesn’t have to be your anathema.  McDonalds has salads, Wendy’s has potatoes with broccoli, and Subway has turkey breast and veggies.  I’m not saying don’t treat the kids to some Micky D’s fries.  Just take the time to make them aware of other options and help them understand that there’s a choice.

With a little attitude adjustment, a trip out the mall can be not only a great diversion, but a great chance to learn some life lessons as well…or so I keep telling myself.  How do you do the mall?

P.S. Don’t fool yourself. A Cinnabon is too huge to be a snack.

 

Thinking Outside the Snow

by alicemarks on January 13, 2012 in Adventures with children, children and nature, Experiences, Family Time, Outside play with No comments

Sometimes good parenting means that we have to help our kids find fun in unexpected ways. I’m not talking about making the fun for them; I am a big advocate of teaching kids how to relieve their own boredom as opposed to offering up ready-made solutions to the ubiquitous and plaintive wails of “There’s nothing to do!”

With a newly fallen fresh 4 inches of snow on the ground, you’d think my kids (who have been waiting for snow since, hmmm, October) would embrace their snow-play with all the zeal of piglets in mud.  However, once the novelty of a new snow has worn off (give or take an hour), I often find they need a little creative inspiration to renew their enthusiasm.

Cook up some fun!  Muffin tins, cookie sheets, metal mixing bowls, spatulas and whisks make great tools for creating.  No need to offer direction; simply pass out the tools and let your child’s imagination do the rest.  Keep a list of what you send out so you don’t find your whisk…next spring.

We all scream! Snow ice cream is fun and super easy to make, but how about offering up some different ingredients and letting your little chefs lead the way on flavor? Pick up a variety of extracts (vanilla, peppermint, almond, chocolate) and see what they cook (or freeze) up.  Note of caution: make sure you supervise the snow gathering to ensure clean snow!

The hunt is on! Make multi-colored ice cubes with a few drops of food color in each chamber.  Have your kids help you mix the colors for different shades and hues.  Make a lot (50+ if you have the trays) and make them nice and bright! When the cubes are frozen, send your kids outside with them, and see what happens…could it be an impromptu Easter Egg hunt, or the building blocks for an architectural wonder? In the evening, go out and shine a flashlight on the creations for a really cool effect.

As always, younger kids should be supervised for these activities. Other than that, stand back and enjoy the creativity!

3 BIG Reasons to Get Out of the House – as a Family

by alicemarks on January 6, 2012 in QuickSmart with No comments

I am the first one to admit that trying to stay mobile with young kids, especially in cold climates like my hometown of Chicago, can sometimes push me out of my happy zone.  After all, there are the coats, the boots, the gloves, hats, scarves, mittens, earmuffs, snowpants…and that’s just for one kid.  Getting from house to car, normally a 10 second affair, can take up to 20 minutes, which is often enough to keep the best of us from even making the effort.

But should we be making the effort?  Is there really a good reason for us to keep pushing the get-out-of-the-house agenda day after long, cold day?

In a word: Yes. And here are the top three reasons why I believe that a family that ventures out of the house together on a regular basis (which can mean anything from a front-yard game of tag to an international expedition) can be happier, healthier and stronger.

Strengthening Family Bonds

Family time together, away from distractions such as electronics and friends, builds what I call reminiscence rapport.  Nothing strengthens bonds (and warms this mother’s heart) more than hearing a brother and sister “Remembering When….” together.

Getting Out for Better Health and Happiness

You know how how you are often more relaxed when you are at someone else’s house because you are not worrying about the dishes in the sink or the laundry mountain in the bedroom?  It’s the same for families.

Families away from their habitual distractions can lighten up, laugh, and joke around more because their minds are not focused on other things they could be doing (whether it’s cleaning, working or gaming).  According to WebMD, laughter can increase blood flow, immune response, lower blood sugar levels and encourage relaxation and sleep.  Win-win!

Teaching Tolerance

You get along with your friends because you have carefully selected people with whom you share something important, be it interests, ideologies or even just a warped sense of humor.  Not so with families, where vastly different personality types are often thrown together and expected to get along despite any differences.

Spending time together (again, without distractions such as toys or other friends) can help siblings gain an appreciation and understanding of each other’s quirks, which will often help to quell the knee-jerk reactionary family squabbles that result from personality clashes.

If you are not used to getting out-and-about as a family on a regular basis, start small with short, local trips, or even just time spent in your neighborhood.  There may be resistance at first, but keep your eye on the prize and push through any griping.  The build of the benefits will be gradual, but one day you will look back and realize that your family is happier, healthier and stronger than they’ve even been.

 

Goal Setting for the New Year, Made Easy

by alicemarks on December 30, 2011 in Experiences with No comments

The coming of the New Year is much like going to Prom: so many hopes, dreams, and dewey-eyed romantic notions of how great it’s gonna be. But does reality ever live up to those expectations, so fraught with resolve yet balanced delicately on the fence between what we want to do and what we have the time, energy or resources to implement?

Don't succumb to Prom Syndrome for the New Year!

After many years of setting – and breaking – my own resolutions, I have come to the conclusion that the whole New Year’s “do or die” attitude is good for nothing but disappointment and self-criticism. Since I’m coincidentally trying to cut back on those very things, over the last few years I have adopted what I call the New Year’s Plan o’ Goodness. It’s much less intimidating than “Resolutions,” and way more fun to say.

Set reasonable goals. Trying to start your own business and become financially independent by April 30 may leave you feeling a little discouraged come May 1.  Make sure your goals are attainable, and not supercharged to make up for the years that you didn’t spend trying to achieve them.

One goal at a time, please. Often the threat of the New Year induces a panic attack brought on by all the things we wanted to get done the previous year and didn’t.  Double stacking old goals, or even multiple new goals can cause you to stall out from anxiety before you even get started.

Start small.  Create small achievable steps that, with each success, will build momentum for further success. For example: You want to lose 30 pounds by June.  That is a big goal, and can be overwhelming if you see a regimented diet and exercise schedule spreading out before you for the next 6 months like a sandstorm overtaking Dubai.

But if you start small, then you can look at your goal in terms of only what you need to accomplish today. Eat one extra serving of vegetables, exercise for 10 minutes or take a walk around the block.  Can you do that today? Easy. Over time, your little accomplishments will add up to something much greater.  And, if you stray and don’t stick to your daily goal, well, it’s just one day.  You haven’t sabotaged the whole operation.

Reward yourself often.  If you are taking small steps, that means at the end of every day you can tell yourself what a great job you did, how proud you are of yourself, and how good you feel.  You would be surprised at how little we actually take the time to do this.  Don’t you deserve it?

Happy New Year from QuickSmart!

5 Tips for Achieving Holiday Bliss

by alicemarks on December 22, 2011 in QuickSmart with No comments

It’s holiday crunch time.  And I don’t mean the good kind, made of crispy rice and covered in chocolate.  Whether you’re celebrating Christmas this weekend or on your Third Night of the Festival of Lights, the countdown to make it through the next week and round the corner towards New Year’s Eve often feels like one of those dreams where the hallway just keeps getting longer and longer and you try to run but strangely you are wearing shoes made of leaden fruitcake.

Stop running. Sit down. Take a breath. The holidays were made for joy, not stress.  We want you to make it through in one piece, looking forward to next year. Here are 5 tips to help get you there, both physically and emotionally.

  1. Somedays I feel like I should crochet this into a pillow, but…manage your expectations.  Every day will not be a Norman Rockwell event.  Expect the in-fighting, the crankiness, the non-cooperativeness.  Then, when times are good and all is well in the universe, you can fully appreciate it
  2. Take time for yourself.  5 minutes in a locked bathroom with a cup of tea WILL make a difference IF you focus that 5 minutes on NOT thinking about your to-do list!  Here’s where you visualize yourself lying on a beach.  It’s only 5 minutes. You can do it
  3. Everyone’s desire for a perfect holiday is not your responsibility.  Keep your own heart filled with joy (even if you have to manufacture it at times!) and it will spill over to others.
  4. Move.  Like cholesterol in an artery, crankiness and discord tend to build up in bodies that are stagnant.  If your schedule is making it difficult to exercise, then make sure you get outside daily for a 10 minute walk.  Don’t try to tell yourself that a walk doesn’t count as exercise.  It does.
  5. Give.  Besides bringing lightness to your own heart, giving time or money to those less fortunate is a great way to show your kids what you value.  Get a stack of singles and take the family to stores with bell ringers.  Let the kids drop the money in the bucket.  Explain how they are helping other families.

The holidays will soon be over and this year’s memories logged into the scrapbook (or, if you’re like me, forever entombed within my camera).  Will it be one upon which you look back fondly, or will it be the seed for a stomachache that begins after Thanksgiving next year?  Choose joy, my friends.

Happy Holidays from QuickSmart!

The Memory Tree

by alicemarks on December 15, 2011 in Family Time with 13 Comments

In my family, putting up the Christmas Tree marks the beginning of the Holiday Season.  In the blink of an evening, the house becomes a seething mass of red, green and gold, with tube-sock snowmen cropping up like spring mushrooms on every available surface.

For us, though, decorating the tree isn’t just about putting on the ornaments and making sure all the lights are working.

Every year, I pull out the ever-increasing amount of storage tubs, turn up the holiday music, and my kids and I take a slow and thorough stroll down memory lane. As we dig through the boxes I hear exclamations of surprised delight, as each ornament or decoration stirs a special memory, the thought of a friend or relative, or the recollection of a unique interest.

My Oldest pulls out a wooden truck from when he was a toddler and completely obsessed with vehicles.

“Look, mom,” he smiles, holding up the mini treasure, “Do you remember what I used to call cars and trucks?”

Without missing a beat, Younger Brother and Sister sing out the answer: “Mom-broombrooms!” and they all laugh.

Younger Sister pulls out a mirrored ornament, handmade and adorned with seashells. “This is from when I was a flower girl in Jess’s wedding,” she recounts dreamily.

I smile as I gently lift out the delicate glass trumpet inherited from my mother, gone now 7 years.  A moth-eaten felt angel, carefully created by my brother at age 5, goes next to it.

An hour or so later, the tree is complete.  The kids are on to other activities, and I am relaxing in the glow of the lights, emotionally sated.

What are your most treasured holiday decorations?

Post an answer in the comments below for a chance to win a ScrambleBug!  We’ll pick a random comment 10pm CST on Monday, Dec 18.

Holiday Traditions: Planting the Seeds of Joy

by alicemarks on December 8, 2011 in Adventures with children, Experiences, Family Time with No comments

One of my favorite holiday traditions growing up was the celebration of Christmas Eve.  My brother and I would sit by the tree, flanked by our parents, and pick out one gift that we could open that evening.  I don’t know where this tradition came from (I vaguely recall a tie-in with my German heritage), but each year I looked forward to perusing the gifts under the tree in an attempt to determine which one would yield the best brag factor over my friends, most of whom did not have the same pre-Christmas morning privileges.

Remember that YOU plant the seeds of great memories

Fast forward 20 years, to the first Christmas where my son was old enough to “get” the whole gift thing.  I wanted to be able to offer him the specialness of my childhood Christmas Eve celebrations, but I also yearned to make something that was just ours, both in an attempt to preserve the joy and sacredness of my past experiences, and to plant the seeds for new ones.

So one night, in a likely wine-fueled fit of creativity, I invented the Christmas Fairies.  On Christmas Eve the Fairies would wrap and hide one present, then tuck into the Christmas tree cryptic rhyming notes hinting at where the present could be discovered. In the years (and children) that followed, the Fairies were much loved and always anticipated with giddy enthusiasm for weeks before their arrival.

This year, however, my son is 12, and well past the Santa stage.  Was he now too old/too cool/too almost-teenager to have any interest in the Christmas Fairies or the tradition we had started together so many years before?

I was seriously contemplating just letting him pick a gift from under the tree so as not to expose him to the indignities of “little kid fun,” when I overheard a conversation between him and his younger bother.

Younger Brother: “Do you want the Christmas Fairies to hide your present?”

Older Brother: “I don’t believe in the Christmas Fairies” (no need to be alarmed at his indiscretion; Younger Brother has known the secret persona of the Christmas Fairies for a few years)

Younger Brother: “So what, neither do I!  But do you want them to hide your present?”

Older Brother: “Yeah, but I hope it’s a really tricky poem this year.  Last year was too easy.”

So there you have it. In one short conversation my question regarding the importance of tradition, even at the expense of childishness, was put to bed.

I’m glad that I have kept this tradition alive in my family, but even happier that I have added my own personal touch to it which has been so readily embraced by my kids.  It just goes to show that fun, wonder and family grow beautifully precisely where we plant it.

4 Things You Must Know About Holiday Air Travel with Kids

by alicemarks on December 1, 2011 in Adventures with children, Experiences, Family Time, QuickSmart, Travel tips, Travel with babies, Traveling with Children with 1 Comment

As if the holiday season isn’t busy enough, some families (including my own) are inexplicably stricken with the deranged compulsion to embark upon a family trip during those last final weeks of the year.  Whether it’s just a long weekend or for full two weeks, these madcap adventurers steel their resolve and defiantly fly off to visit family, get away from the cold, or just alleviate cabin fever.

With so many other things to remember, it’s sometimes difficult to keep the nuances of flying with kids at the forefront of your mind.  However, if you can remember one tip from each of the basic needs – comfort, safety, food and fun – you can increase your odds of making your journey equally as pleasurable as your ultimate destination.

1.Comfort

Plenty of diapers, change of clothes, extra layers and blankie or favorite stuffed animal

2. Safety

Car seat or Restraint Harness (The CARES harness is the only FAA approved harness out there, and keeps kids back far enough in their seats to curtail seat-kicking).

3. Food

Don’t overlook snacks in  your rush to get out the door.  A few healthy snacks (trail mix, granola bars) mixed with some special treats will do wonders to grease the meltdown-prevention wheels.

4.Fun 

On long flights, distractions are key.  Dollar store doodads wrapped like presents, mystery “goody bags,” toys without small pieces and even a DVD player will all aid in keeping your child’s mind off the confinement of the airplane cabin.

The captain may have turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, but you’ve got your basics covered, so sit back, take a deep breath, and enjoy the holiday journey.

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